Part of the Plan

I have been thinking lately about the plan of motherhood and wondering why Heavenly Father puts us through 9 months of pregnancy, labor and allows years to become so attached to our children then he allows them to grow up and leave us behind. I remember all the time I spent pondering getting pregnant with Kelsey. I asked everyone I knew what they thought and I spent alot of time trying to talk myself out of it. Enter the plan. Looking back now I see what my part in the plan was. To bring this child into the world, love her, teach her and cherish every day then let her go. I hate the plan. As each one of my children have left home, I have thought this is the hardest thing I have ever done, to let go. I said it as I pulled away from the MTC on my sons 19th birthday, as I watched Hillary and Josh pull out of the driveway headed to California just hours after her wedding, and now as I have sent my girl away to school. I almost wish I didn't know the plan so well, then I would think that she will be back and things will be the same, but they won't. Tough assignment this motherhood thing.
We have had a full and busy couple of weeks. Just check out my kids Blog's for all the details. The blessings just keep coming and the kids just keep making me smile. It all part of the plan.

One more thing off my list!

Hill and I attended a concert for one of my favorite artists, James Taylor on Monday. Last time he was here I promised myself that next time he came I would go. So we snagged some sweet tickets and off we went. I have attended a few awesome concerts in my day, and this one will rank way up there. It was a perfect night all the way around. One more thing to check off my list to do before I get to old! Thanks Hill for going with me. Maybe we can go next time he comes again!

Hill's Tag

i am: So tired of working
i think: way too much or not enough (I like your answer Kels)
i know: my family loves me
i want: have enough money to take my family to Disneyland
i have: the best famiy ever
i wish: my house was paid for
i dislike: Beef!!!
i miss: Being home and playing mom everyday
i fear: that I will lose it when Kelsey leaves for school (already half way there)
i hear: the air conditioner running
i smell: nothing right now
i crave: Anything sweet
i usually: have a Diet Pepsi about right now
i search: for ways to eat better
i wonder: how long I will love
i regret: that I was a bad mom with Jake and Hill when they were little
i love: my family
i care: about my kids having everything they need
i always: try to be a good mother
i worry: that after I die my kids and grandkids won't remember me
i am not: Ready to have my kids grow up
i remember: How much I love Christmas everyday
i believe: In Jesus Christ
i dance: when I am home alone unless I am doing Am's dance. It makes Nic laugh
i sing: bad but I love to! in My next life maybe.
i don’t always: Take any time for myself
i argue: with Kevin about the kids
i win: I never win anything
i lose: Every game I play
i never: Eat sugar:(
i listen: to rock and roll and lately classical when I need to unwind on my way home from work.
i can usually be found: at home or work
i am scared: of heights, being on the edge of something and dying (or for my kids benefit, breaking my hip)
i need: to clean my house from top to bottom
i forget: stupid everyday stuff
i am happy about: Going to See James Taylor tonight!

Hill

i am: feeling so-so
i think: way too much or not enough
i know: that I am loved
i want: to feel happy with myself
i have: a great family and awesome friends
i wish: for a lot of things but I don't see the point
i dislike: milk, nuts in food, waking up early, (I could go on)
i miss: working at coldstone
i fear: that I will break down when alan leave on his mission
i feel: see first answer
i hear: my fan and the backstreet boys on the radio
i smell: uh . . . nothing
i crave: I don't feel very good right now so I'm not really craving anything
i usually: hang out with Alan everyday
i search: for song lyrics usually
i wonder: if my friends are right and I really will get married before they come home
i regret: how I treated Spencer
i love: my family
i care: about my friends being happy and being good
i always: try to be a good friend
i worry: about being hungry when I move away
i am not: going to work tomorrow :-) (kinda)
i remember: weird stuff, usually things associated with music (me too Hill! and movies)
i believe: Christ
i dance: retarded, but only with alan to that cell phone ring
i sing: not very well
i don’t always: read my scriptures like I should
i argue: hardly at all, Trevor is the only exception to that rule because he argues all the time
i write: really crappy and big
i win: Disney Trivia :-)
i lose: ha! what don't I lose
i never: clean my room
i listen: to music ALL the time, WICKED has been my latest craze
i don't understand: some of the things boys do
i can usually be found: at home or at Alan's ( or work)
i am scared: of the dark, ghosts, heights, spiders and being alone
i need: to clean my room and the bathroom and write my paper
i forget: important stuff, especially when it comes time to take a test
i am happy about: This next weekend! Montana here I come!